How To Forgive When You’re Angry


The How To Series / Thursday, February 8th, 2018

Have you ever experienced a situation that has left you feeling abandoned, broken and crushed by someone you loved and trusted? Perhaps your spouse has committed adultery, a loved one has let you down a time or two or a close friends has shared something you told them in private. There can be a multitude of situations that have left you feeling this way. It doesn’t matter what your situation is but we all have had experiences that have caused our hearts to hurt. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and embrace you. I will leave you with this verse that has carried me through many of my own heart breaks.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

At first, you are hurting and grieving as you are waiting on your mind to process the events that have recently unfolded in front of you. You ask yourself how this happened or how you got to where you are and the famous question of why. If you are anything like me, I need to know the why to everything. I overthink and I over analyze the situation at hand until all of my emotions eat me a live. Most of the time, I let them because I like to soak in the “I’m right and you’re wrong mentality” or “I have the right to be angry because you did this”. Then comes the rage, the anger, and the need for revenge. Yep. It just gets uglier and uglier doesn’t it?

Proverbs 29:11 Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.

I’ve been that person in this situation and I’ve been the one that can’t let go of something. I understand and I can relate to these fleshly reactions and emotions. Unfortunately, it’s normal for us humans BUT it’s not good for our soul and it’s not what God intends for our life.

James 1:20 because human anger does not produce righteousness that God desires.

I’m not saying it’s not okay to be angry or feel the way you do because it’s quite the opposite. Those are your feelings and you have every right to feel them and work your way through them but you must control your reactions and your words.

Ephesians 4:26-27 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. 

What does this mean? Well, we can gather that anger itself is not a sin but it’s your reactions that can be sinful if not controlled. The next part basically means that the sooner you let go of your anger, the better off YOU will be. Anger can fester like a nasty boil inside your heart than can result in a hardened heart. From the last part, I gather that the devil would love for you to let your anger fester because it allows him time to cause chaos in your life. Have you ever noticed that when you keep thinking about the event that caused your anger, you just get angrier, even more bitter and resentful? Perhaps the devil has seeped in through an open foothold that Ephesians warns us about. This is why it is so important to let go of the anger as quickly as we can because the devil will use it to his advantage.

Can you see the damage that has been done because we didn’t let go of our anger and forgive? The poison that caused our soul to rot. Can’t you see that the only one you are hurting is you? I can tell you that the person you are angry at is probably enjoying their life without being bothered by your anger and the unforgiveness in your heart.

How in the world do we move forward and forgive?

It starts in our heart and mind with a decision to forgive the person who wronged you. Say it out loud and pray it to Jesus. There is power in the willingness to forgive someone.

Matthew 6:14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.

 

It’s not going to be easy but Jesus is with you every step of the way. If you are feeling hurt or if your mind is in over drive with ungodly thoughts about this person, pray and call out to Jesus. The devil will creep in and remind you of what this person said or did but you will need to be prepared to stop him quickly and not allow him a foothold into your mind. You can’t do this on your own but with the help of the Holy Spirit, you will conquer. You just have to ask.

Here is where you may think I have really gone coo coo…

Pray for the person who hurt you. Bless this person and do not curse. Pray for God’s will over this person’s life and their happiness and well being. Do it for no reason and do it when the devil attempts you to curse this person. Do it out of love. They hurt you out of weakness or wickedness and if we don’t pray for them we may never see the best that they could be. Most importantly, pray that the footholds the devil has over their life is broken.

Luke 6:27-28 But to you are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

 

You might be wondering, “Now what do I do about this person in my life?”

That is your decision to pray about. You know what’s best for you. Listen to the still small voice that you hear. Follow your instincts. Just because you have forgiven someone does not mean you allow them back in your life. It just means that you have found peace with them and the circumstances. It may take months or years to rebuild the trust and it may not ever happen. There is not anything wrong with loving and praying for people from afar.

Here is the real beauty in this: You are setting yourself free and tearing down walls that have been built around your heart. You are setting yourself up for God’s blessing and His peace that surpasses all understanding. Forgiveness is an art and it takes time to master but it holds such a powerful key to the life Christ wants you to have. He forgives us every time with so much love & mercy, how can we not do the same?

I want you to pray for any areas in your life that you may be convicted and for God search and know you. Pray that through Him you are able to find the peace through the pain as you take this journey with Him.

I challenge you to read: The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant located in Matthew 18: 21-35.

All of my love,

Hannah B. (2)

8 Replies to “How To Forgive When You’re Angry”

  1. Powerful, godly reminder! Something everyone should follow but many find too hard to do because they’re trying to do it in their own power instead of with the help of the Lord…

  2. Forgiving those who have hurt us (whether they are sorry or not) is so important and I love that you say we need to call ourselves out when we are having hateful thoughts, and ask God’s help! That’s so true!

  3. It really is hard to forgive in our own strength! But we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us. Forgiveness really sets us free. ❤

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